my cry and my smile

I don't know what I feel
This feeling always exist
But I don’t know
I don’t like it
Felt so sickening
Because it make me not pleasant
And sometimes this thing masters me
Even possibly can make me feel the pressure
All which I tell you is a lie
I lie when I saw you not important to me
I lie when I saw I wish you is him
Knew you in reality?
I want you are here
Not for her
But for me
But you never understand
This heart is sick
I do not wish
The human that always I call the name
Becomes someone who is comprehending me
I only wish you
Believe me
Not this lip!!!
But this heart!!!
So understand me
I am not one person that easy to tell about this
My lip felt frozen if I must talking more
But look my eyes
I cry when I must leave you
I cry when you say the name besides me
And I smile if you understand what I mean